Summer is quickly approaching and with that comes swimsuit weather. Just the thought of going into a store, picking out a mom-appropriate swim suit and trying it on only to find that it looks awful makes me cringe. And to be quite honest, I hadn't bought a new swimsuit since having Karmen (who is almost 8 years old). I have bought a top or bottoms here and there out of desperation but not something I really liked or wanted.
I remember going to shop for swimsuits two years ago and hating everything. Nothing fit right. My boobs were flat from nursing 3 kids, my waist was wider than before and my butt seemed to be sliding down my legs. Tenley was just over a year old and while I didn't have "baby weight" to lose, it was obvious that I had carried a baby/babies. Nothing was remotely toned, even my arms made me cringe. Why did having kids make my arms flabby??? I sat in the fitting room almost in tears. I had never been the girl who was super judgmental of her body. I had always kind of accepted what God gave me and been quite content with it. Why now, after having 3 beautiful babies, was I unhappy with my body. I had read articles about women who loved their body (stretch marks and all) more after having babies because of what it had given them. I thought that was me. Well, apparently it wasn't. Needless to say, my trip was a loss and I left with a pair of black bottoms simply because my previous pair had stretched out so much I was in fear of losing them if entering a body of water.
A month or two after the swimsuit fiasco is when I began my fitness journey. Not because I wanted to look good in a bikini, but because I just wanted to feel more confident and have more energy. (And maybe to get away by myself for 30-45 minutes a day. :) )
Well, fast forward to last Spring. Swimsuit time again! I had been working out for almost a year so I felt pretty good. My Target redcard was ready for some action! I picked out a handful of cute suits and headed to the fitting room. To my surprise, still nothing fit (at least not like I wanted it to). I stood looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, "I have worked so hard for the last year, why is my stomach not flatter, waist not smaller, thighs still touch and still have cellulite?" Eventually, I finally found one top that looked decent and left disappointed once again. Disappointed in my progress, disappointed in myself and disappointed in Target for having such crappy mirrors!
It was about this time that I started T25 and began following a few Beachbody coaches on FB. Following one or two led to many others and I began to notice a pattern. These coaches were women who work out daily and were working toward their own fitness goals. They were just allowing others to follow them on their journey. They were strong and confident, but also smart and successful. And most importantly, they were a lot like me. They were moms, not Victoria Secret models. Not what society views as perfect, but "real".
As I continued to see their daily posts and read their blogs, continued to workout myself, something in me began to change. My body wasn't making a major transformation, but my attitude toward it was. I began to see myself differently when I'd look in the mirror. Instead of flabby arms, I saw toned shoulders. Instead of thick thighs, I saw strong legs. Instead of flat boobs, well, I saw and still see flat boobs. But, we're all a work in progress! :)
The process that I was told so often to trust in wasn't just the workouts and physical results, it was the mental changes that were occurring, also. Throughout my "at-home" fitness journey, I've learned to love my body in a way I never had before. I learned to love myself enough to live a healthy lifestyle.
ps ~ I'm happy to report that this year I've purchased not one, but three swimsuits.
Head on over to my FB page Kelli Harris Fitness or search @kelliharris.fit on FB for daily motivation, recipes, and health/fitness tips.
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